Soon it is going to be 10 years....
i am still waiting for you... Aren't suppose to be the most forgiving person on this earth and come back? I know how strong willed you are. But I also know the soft side of yours. The love you hold for others.
When you couldn't imagine hurting even the strangers how can you so cruelly punish me? I am still hoping and searching for you Amma. Please come back.. You are not supposed to hurt us. Amma, you know, when you were here, i used wonder and wish why you were not like others. but now I know you can never be like others. because no one can match you even if they try their entire life. I was stupid and couldn't understand that. Now i know.
Ma, i miss you so much. Even after all these years i still search the crouds around me for atleast a glimpse of you. I tried searching for something that resembles you in many amazing people whom i crossed paths with. strangely no one seemed to be not even remotely near you no matter how great they were. I should have known this earlier.
I am very very proud to be your daughter and wish i made you proud atleast once. Miss you a lot. Were you ever atleast once were proud of me? I no longer have the peace or the joy. the only solace i get is when i see you in my dreams. I for some crazy reason still wants to beleive that it is all a joke and you will just come back again when it is timeout. I truly beleive that. But the passing time is making it very difficult.
Amma, I feel very lonely in this world. I have no one to love, share or care. Why did you leave me. I need someone to love me and tell me what to do next, to correct me, scold me and assure me everything will be fine. I need you very badly Amma. In such a big world i dont have a single person. Please come back. There are few good people around but no one to match you. Am i such a bad person that you cant forgive me.
Please Amma, come back. I am not able to control myself. I know in few hours i have to start my daily routine so want to sleep now. but these tears doesn't seem to be stop rolling. no matter how much I write the pain doesn't seem to be going away.
Give me only one chance, forgive and come back Amma. I promise, i will never ever disappoint you. Please..............
